This is so true for anyone raising a child with Autism or any child with a disability. This tugged at my heart and reminded me of our journey with Ethan. Ethan is our life, our love, and our learning experience. Please read the following story to understand our journey.
Welcome to Holland
by Emily Perl Kingsley
I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability – to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It’s like this……
When you’re going to have a baby, it’s like planning a fabulous vacation trip – to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. Michelangelo’s David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It’s all very exciting.
After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, “Welcome to Holland.”
“Holland?!?” you say. “What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I’m supposed to be in Italy. All my life I’ve dreamed of going to Italy.”
But there’s been a change in the flight plan. They’ve landed in Holland and there you must stay.
The important thing is that they haven’t taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It’s just a different place.
So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.
It’s just a different place. It’s slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you’ve been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around…. and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills…. and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.
But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy… and they’re all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say “Yes, that’s where I was supposed to go. That’s what I had planned.”
And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away… because the loss of that dream is a very, very significant loss.
But… if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn’t get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things … about Holland.
Hayley
Latest posts by Hayley (see all)
- Music Room: Home Tour - January 11, 2019
- The Ace Cardigan - July 30, 2018
- Susie Halter Top and Shorts: Project Run and Play - July 18, 2018
Beautifully written. Thank you for sharing. <3
I have read that many times before; as a special education teacher, it seems to ring true for every parent that has a child with a ‘disability.’ Thank you for sharing with your blog readers. Also, this year I am teaching three and four-year-old students with Autism (it’s my 8th year of teaching preschool/preK special ed, but this year my sole focus is Autism…); I appreciate all you do for your son, at home. It is a huge help to the teacher and staff members at school! THANKS!!